What this economy has done for my sleep.

We've all had nights like this. Worrying about the welfare and well being of our families. This is nothing new. Its a tale as old as time and seems to go hand in hand with beginning and raising a family. But what about the "New worry"? The second guessing that is born out of the results of the choices we've been forced to make? The self doubt? The sadness and depression resulting from this "Great recession"?
Among all the doubts is the doubt that I'm alone in this. As a mother, you can't help but think to yourself that, yes, although you have found some way to manage and get by, you've let your family down in some way. Couldn't I have been better prepared? Couldn't I have just saved up a little more? Thoughts of past splurges (although much deserved at the time) now seem so wasteful.
I wonder what impact this shift in life style will have on my children. Growing up it was easy..we didn't have anything and we were used to it. But you always want better for your kids so you work hard to provide that. Then suddenly, things are no longer in your control. Things are no longer yours to give. I guess it would be of some comfort to think that well, we've got each other and that some where out there someone's got it much worse. But that isn't something I say to myself or my children to make us feel better. These are things I've taught them from day one. Embedded into their lives and ways of thinking.
Maybe they'll do better than I thought. I'm hoping.

So here I am..

So, here I am. Almost a year later and i'm still trying to get the hang of this blog thing. I'm happy and not so happy to report that nothing really has changed since this time last year. Still trying to get things off the ground. What to do when all you want is to be your own boss but all you know is how to be an employee? I haven't given up, though which in some way is most of the fight, I guess. In my mind and soul I'm so ready to say "f-you" I'm done with being an asset for someone else. But then the reality of bills and mortgage and survival sets in and I have no choice but to go to work. Don't get me wrong. I know the climate. I'm thankful I even have something to complain about. But it doesn't make my soul feel any less caged in.